Most Illogical

My life according to Goldfrapp

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:42:30 GMT

Stole this hybrid meme from a most lovely friend of mine! I can't tag ppl, I never remember how since my brain SHOULD BE READING FOR MY TORTS FINAL AT 1:30.

....ANYWAY.

How to do this meme: Using only SONG TITLE names from ONE BAND/MUSICIAN, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My life according to (band)".

Describe yourself: "Strict Machine"
How do you feel: "Twist"
Describe where you currently live: "Hairy Trees"
If you could go anywhere where would you go: "Koko"
Your favorite form of transportation: "Ride on a White Horse"
Your best friend is: "Number 1"
What's the weather like: "Crystalline Green"
Favorite time of day: "Lovely 2 C U"
If your life was a TV show, it would be called: "Ooh La La"
What is life to you: "Satin Chic"
Your fear: "Slippage"
What is the best advice you have to give: "Slide In"
Thought for the Day: "Fly Me Away"
How I would like to die: "Let it Take You Away"
My soul's present condition: "Time Out From the World"
My motto: "You Never Know"

I'm going to go beat my head into a textbook now and hope osmosis works for brain cells as well.

*UNHINGED RAGE*

I NEEDS HELPS

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:50:03 GMT

Hey guys, my usual bittorent site is down. Does anyone know of a good (AND SAFE) site I can use. It's okay if I have to download a new client. I just don't want to get a virus or something when my final paper is on this laptop. And you know, at all. But paper.

Yes.

STAR TREK COMES OUT TODAY. I've got to go pick up my blu-ray pre-ordered copy today!

Rem out.

Unfortunate turn of events

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:45:33 GMT

Well, we're three days into this week and it's already turned out to be pretty grim.

Last week was possibly one of the best weeks I've had in a long time, so I suppose it makes sense. The ups with the downs you know? I've gotten myself a boyfriend, which god damn, it's about time. And Halloween and the whole build up all week with getting costumes and going on dates was wonderful. Alas.

Anyway, in case you haven't heard my Grandmother died Monday night. I was very upset when I first heard the news but now I'm kind of relieved. She really had no quality of life in the state she was in so it's probably better that she's not suffering anymore. Apparently it was quick, though probably not peaceful like I was originally told. I don't know how I feel about that...

It seems like it's not just me though. My roomie's long time boyfriend finally confessed he doesn't love her anymore after letting the relationship linger for several months. My other roomies and I have been telling her to just end it a long time ago, but love is a strange hurtful thing. You love your family and you love your friends and partners, even if they're not good for you. There's nothing you can do about it. You can't make yourself not love someone, and you can't make them love you either.

So basically our suite is a big ball of sad and gloom. Also, I broke one of my new specially made wine glasses while cleaning it in the bathroom sink. I don't have a kitchen and in a proper sink that wouldn't have happened. I feel like it's an omen, silly as that sounds.

Things will get better...well, after finals anyway = =, but you guys know what I mean. I'll be dealing with family and funeral all weekend, which I don't have time for but must be done. But I'm okay and thanks to everyone who has given me support! It means a lot guys! Thank you.

raining on the inside

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:44:48 GMT

Ever have one of those "I'm feeling ugly and stupid and irresponsible" days?

That's today for me.

I dunno, I guess I really don't have a reason to be sad because nothing has actually happened, or at least hasn't happened yet. But I get too excited about things that could be or that I'm expecting to be and then when the opposite comes along, no matter how many times I've told myself this was the realistic and logical conclusion of events, I can't help but feel empty inside. Do I really have that little to look forward to?

I feel like I'm not doing anything the way I should be, that I'm never doing enough. When I relax I feel guilty, so there's no real peace. The world is like a whirlwind blowing by, leaving me ruffled and alone. I sound of damn emo, but I might as well get it out of my system. Maybe purging it will make it feel better instead of self-medicating.

There are just some days where I feel so damn lonely in a crowd. I'm interacting, playing the part, but that's all it is. Acting.

Not everyday, of course. Not usually in fact. Usually I'm content enough, knowing things are going to be fine, that I'll be fine. And there are days when I'm just fine. And everything is so much better than it used to be. But not today.

Today it's raining.

Fuck/Marry/Kiss/Kill

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:23:24 GMT

Time for some Fuck/Marry/Kiss/Kill. (which btw I've never played before, omg holy memes batman!) I was given my ~~bitches~~ four by holls. (how the hell do I code lj name links? I always forget)

She gave me Karl Urban, Deforest Kelly, Zachary Quinto, and Lenard Nimoy. Comment and I'll give you four of your own. And yes, I'll tailor it to your interests.

Karl Urban Pictures
Fuck: Karl Urban

Okay. Really guys.

LOOK AT HIM.

Justified. Yes I f-ing am.

again.

LOOK.

Marry: DeForest Kelley

Look! He's in westerns! Also...he was totally a puppy kicking villain in westernes HOWEVER it's my understanding he was a darling in real life and really didn't wanna kick those puppies. Actually, tho this picture does it no justice, he seems like he would have been a real sweet heart. <3 Also, look at him in his cute hat! Since cowboy badasses apparently have cute hates? I dunno.

Kiss: Lenard Nimoy

do you know how hard it is to find a picture of him where he's not dressed as Spock or doing something trek related? Jesums. Anyway, I'd wanna kiss him on the forehead and hug him like a grandpa.

Kill: Zachary Quinto

MAN I'M SORRY. But there was no way in hell I could kill Nimoy...also Urban.

No, scroll back up.

I mean it.

*siiiiigh* Karl Urban. And I thought I was in love with him after Lord of the Rings? Life only gets better.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programing. In other words: homework.

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 19:07:32 GMT

So my brother might have cancer. That's just great.

It pisses me the fuck off, actually. And I know that sounds horrible, but it's MOUTH cancer. Now I don't have anything against smokers, I really don't. But he's been chain smoking since he was in like, in 6th grade and my dad has done everything humanly possible to make him quit over the years. Like everything else in life, he probably only smokes because it pisses my dad off. That's why he got a tattoo, and an ugly one at that.

I don't know. It makes me sound like a heartless bitch when I say to myself, "Oh wow, he's going to cost my family MORE money?" but with all the bills from his little suicide episode because my parents took away his fucking car, and all the bills from legal council and fees owed to the state during probation and bail bonds and god knows what else because they give him EVERYTHING, ugh. You know, I have a HORRIFIC infection at the moment because we couldn't get my wisdom teeth out before school started. I couldn't swallow this morning it's so bad. Money blows even with insurance. But because my brother's front tooth is dead and needs to be replaced (because he got in a FIST FIGHT. SERIOUSLY GUYS.) he goes to the mouth surgeon and he's like "...woah kid. WOAH." He biopsied him RIGHT THERE. Jesus Fuck.

I am so sick of being neglected because he causes so much trouble. Oh, and of course, he put up a FIGHT! Can you believe that? The damn doctor is like "holy shit you might have cancer, let me check this the fuck out like right now srsly" and he has the audacity to try to REFUSE? ARGdkjnfsol!!!! CURSE WORDS ESCAPE ME. DENIAL WON'T MAKE IT GO AWAY BITCH.

I hope it's not cancer. I really do. But I'd also like to strangle him to death. No wait, till near death, so he can recover so I can strangle him AGAIN. Thank god it's Friday, but then again, I have so much homework and project crap to do it doesn't really matter.

*sigh*

Kentucky Whiskey

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:22:08 GMT

So I went to the gym early today because if I looked at my contracts homework for one more second I think I might have killed myself. This was after going on a 20 minute rant at my mom on how utterly ILLOGICAL the rules of possession of property are. Spock's logic argument, McCoy's fury holls, srsly.

I need to refrain from reading Star Trek novels themed around McCoy on the treadmill. Somehow I ended up with a bottle of Kentucky whiskey from the corner store on the way home.

Amen to the South, my roomie and I are going to make good use of this shit tonight instead of finishing homework. Also, we're so lame we're just going to watch bad sci-fi movies in the dorm. Party? Fuck, we don't have the energy. I feel like an old man. Holy shit.

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:41:27 GMT

OMFG I FOUND AN IMAX SHOWING STAR TREK NEAR ME.

I am so fucking going even if I have to go by myself. OMFG.

Writer's Block: My Fantasy “Geek” Accessory

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:32:29 GMT

What's your fantasy "geek" tech accessory?

Sponsored by WePC.com. Help us make your Dream PC a reality.

View 308 Answers

The tricorder/science scanner for the explicit purpose of knowing exactly how far away people I hate are from me. >:E I require it to speak to me in Spock's voice, not that robot woman crap. Because it will sooth my hate...and I just like hearing him talk, holy shit. <3

Also, to locate all the shit my roomie and I manage to lose and then miraculously trip over three hours later. > > Oh, and motherfuckin' directions. Better than a GPS bitches!

FML

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 03:07:44 GMT

I owe my old apartment complex $200.

I just did two hours worth of homework in the wrong book. I have to start over and I still have all my other classes to do.

A friend of mine ruined my entire birthday weekend. I'm still too pissed to even talk about how amazingly rude and inconsiderate he was. Srsly, from Friday through Monday there was more drama. What is it with me and wanting to kill half my old friends?

I bought myself a toy tricorder as a b-day present to myself to cheer myself up. Spock talks to me about lifeforms, it's hot. <3

FML, ppl.

Oh, and that bloodwork you remember me bitching about? They LOST my blood. So I had to do it AGAIN.

VTF, Karma owes me this week. >:E

OUCH!

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:06:17 GMT

OMFG, I HATE getting blood work done. I have the tiniest, most annoying rolling veins in the universe. It takes most nurses three or four pokes to finally get blood flowing, and half the time they wiggle the god damned needle around in my arm LIKE BACK AND FORTH AND ALL AROUND looking for a vein they're NOT GOING TO FIND. I'll never give blood for this reason. It doesn't always leave lingering pain, but for some reason both my arms feel like they're on fire...fire with knives, because of course they had to try both arms because they couldn't get the first arm to work.

Oh, and getting there and back was a total bitch. New Orleans streets are like...if a drunk person took a bunch of lines and threw darts at them, that's how the streets are arranged. And only in one direction, because two way streets would just make too much sense. My sense of direction is already kinda pitiful, but I somehow managed to actually navigate to the hospital but then the street I took to get there was only one way so I had to wander in a zig-zag pattern all the way back only to discover that they're doing road work on the ONLY STREET that can get me onto campus because the one on the other side IS ONLY ONE WAY. Jesus fuck, people. So I had to go past my dorm three blocks, since you can't make left turns on about 2/3 of the streets, find a one way up, then over, then up and over again, and then I had to pull around the wrong direction on a one way to get to the damn parking lot entrance. And the construction workers had the indecency to actually glare at me because they likely thought I was going to try to get around their barricade when I pulled around onto the one way. Because, you know, it's too much for me to try to GO HOME.

Ugh. Thank god I only have one class on Fridays and then I'm getting picked up because if I had to drive home, I think I'd actually choke a bitch.

Also, epic homework is epic.

School and fury

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 05:23:17 GMT

So today was my first actual day of law school and it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. I mean it was intimidating, but only because they warned us it would only get harder as the semester goes on, which really is to be expected.

I'm getting along amazingly with my three new room mates. They're all really nice and a little bit nerdy, which is perfect. Andrea and I have a system down where if she needs me she yells "Kirk to Enterprise" and I respond with "Spock here" and vice versa. I'm glad they're so nice because really, on a daily basis they're the only people I really know around here. It's a tad lonely since I miss everyone quite a bit, but hopefully I'll find time to see people.

Well, not all people. I've officially ended my friendship with Gregg. I'm not going into details, but he can fucking suck it with his passive aggressive possessive bastardly bullshit. I actually do not WANT to make up with him. I'm so amazingly mad I...I don't think I've ever been this pissed at anyone before in my entire life. And you all know how hard it is to make me angry to the point of refusing to compromise. It is epic. Thank god I'm going home to hang with people WHO I DON'T HATE and de-stress for my birthday or I might actually start kicking puppies. I live next to a park and a zoo, this would not be difficult.

Other than that, living in New Orleans has been kinda awesome. I can take the street car to places and walk to a bunch of stores. I can't wait to get a bike so I can wander farther! The French Quarter is like, 15 minutes away (without traffic), the zoo is next door, school is across the street, and since my mom and cousin work in the city they can stop by to bring me things or take me to dinner! I'm going with my cousin on Thursday, it shall be delicious. Also, hopefully he'll give me all his notes and study aids. > > In any case, I needs me some good eats. I've lost like, 2 pounds already from being here. Just wait till the stress settles in as opposed to just being poor. LOL. RAMEN IS CHEAP.

Rem out.

New layout!

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:16:37 GMT

I realized it's been a few years since I bothered to do anything with my lj layout. I'm horrible with code and things like that, but I figured it was about time to make the damn thing relevant to my current interests. I still can't figure out how to get my tags to display. If anyone knows, that would rock.

http://icecoldblue.livejournal.com/ check it!

Anywho, orientation is finally over as of today. I've already got so much homework for Monday that I kind of want to kill myself. It's so bad I'm planning to make my Halloween costume (Spock! My roomie and her boyfriend are going as Uhura and Kirk for the win! lolz ) just to get it out of the way. Apparently the law school rents out a whole bar and everyone dresses up. It's considered the last hurrah before exam prep begins. And yes, exams aren't till mid December. That's how bad it's supposed to be. I'm not nervous...yet. I'm mostly just resigned to the idea of doing a lot of homework, often.

I'm feeling kinda blah today. I've started taking these ass kicking antibiotics for my impacted teeth and although it's already made my GIANT SWOLLEN FROG LIKE lymph glands go down, it's causing the rest of me to feel like death. I'm surprised no one things I'm a drug addict. I take about 6 pills every morning, ugh. At least it's an excuse to have a cute little pill case in my purse (like a granny.)

I'm thinking for my birthday, no matter how much I want it, that my parents just can't afford to get me that plane ticket to DragonCon and I suppose I don't have the time or the money, but it's still highly disappointing. I had gotten myself all worked up about it, but realistically (how logical of me) I need to spend any b-day money I get on things that I actually need like textbooks and a bike for getting around downtown (it's sooo expensive to fuckin park omfg.) How lame is it that I need to spend birthday gifts on more god damned textbooks ugh. Anyway, I submitted some art to people who are putting together a fan book for Mr. Nimoy so at least there's that. Also, if anyone gets his autograph I will so pay the fees and whatever for it. ; ;

Rem out.

Strangely acurate

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 23:46:30 GMT

Um wow. This is pretty dead on.

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...

3 - the Achiever

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose AZ - your Enneagram type is THREE (aka "The Performer").

"I need to succeed"

Achievers are energetic, optimistic, self-assured, and goal oriented.

How to Get Along with Me

• Leave me alone when I am doing my work.

• Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.

• Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.

• Don't burden me with negative emotions.

• Tell me you like being around me.

• Tell me when you're proud of me or my accomplishments.

What I Like About Being a THREE

• being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat

• providing well for my family

• being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge

• staying informed, knowing what's going on

• being competent and able to get things to work efficiently

• being able to motivate people

What's Hard About Being a THREE

• having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence

• the fear on not being -- or of not being seen as -- successful

• comparing myself to people who do things better

• struggling to hang on to my success

• putting on facades in order to impress people

• always being "on." It's exhausting.

THREEs as Children Often

• work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments

• are well liked by other children and by adults

• are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school

• are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects

THREEs as Parents

• are consistent, dependable, and loyal

• struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done

• expect their children to be responsible and organized

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy. Discover the 9 Types of People.

Harper: San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test? so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!

(copypaste the HTML-code from below to your profile or blog!)

please, leave a comment HERE

you wanna know MORE? so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type... ...even more you'll find in Google

_____________________

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose AZ. Use the BACK-button of your browser to see the other options!

Take The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test at HelloQuizzy

In other news, I've had a horribly shitty last two days. I hate certain people with a passion who I didn't previously, but there's also some new people and some old friends who have stepped up for me.

As for DragonCon, still not sure if I can swing it. Money is so horrifically bad right now for both my parents and myself. I'm not even sure if they're giving me a present at all, not to mention a plane ticket. Oh well. I wasn't really expecting much of anything this year anyway, being far away from all my friends and all. Oh well. u u

Nimoy AND Shatner OMFG?!?!

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:30:05 GMT

I am seriously considering packing up all my law textbooks and buying an overnight flight to go to DragonCon for Saturday.

No. Seriously. My birthday is the previous weekend. I bet I can figure this out. I'll sleep on the damn floor if I have to.

I've been having the shittiest week ever. I owe something like this to my sanity.

EDIT: DAMNIT THEY'LL ONLY BE THERE AT THE SAME TIME ON FRIDAY MORNING WHILE i STILL HAVE CLASS FUUUUU.

Oh well, Nimoy on Saturday is still kinda worth it if I can mooch a room off someone. > >

So here we go again

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:41:22 GMT

So I'm nice and settled into my new dorm in New Orleans. I'll probably get around to taking pictures once I finish all my decorating, but for now you'll just have to wonder. Anyway, here's the events of the past three days:

Thursday:
Dad got me up at 6:30am so we could get our asses to the dorm for the 8am move in. Well, that was utterly unnecessary because only the first year law students were allowed to move in, as in my hall there's like...maybe 20 of us and most had their stuff shipped and delivered from out of state so it wasn't anything like the complete chaos of moving in as a freshman at LSU. Of course, the residential life people were on retreat so admissions had to deal with the move in and they had no idea what was going on. They didn't even know we were allowed to start moving at 8am so I'm banging on the door already annoyed at 8:15. Then, the key to my front door doesn't work. Turns out my suite and the one next door are on a separate system than EVERYONE ELSE where our room keys are different than our front door keys. Well admissions had no idea what to do so we're accumulating my stuff near the door on the 5th floor waiting on someone from main campus in the Louisiana summer heat. Then even the guy with the master key couldn't get it open and needed to get clearance to use some other key. This saga continued all day. I didn't end up getting the key to my front door until around 4pm. Needless to say, I was PISSED.

Only one of my other roomies, Amye, is a first year but she was already moved in because she took a job with res-life. This is the first time I've moved in with complete strangers but I'm happy to say we get along AWESOMELY. We like a lot of the same things, our personalities are similar, and just in general I couldn't have asked for a better match. This will perhaps rock because I know about 2 other people in the uh...city. Who live here anyway. Amye and I spent the rest of the night chit-chatting and decorating our rooms. I was shocked that I ran out of posters to cover all the amazing amounts of wall space that I have soooo I'll take the opportunity to be a HUGE nerd and score myself some Star Trek posters since I'm apparently obsessed.

Friday:
Mostly just dicking around checking out the gym and main campus. Explored quite a bit by wandering about. I never got around to walking around the surrounding neighborhood but I did almost get hit by a streetcar...that is until I realized they stop for cars on the cross roads. Thank GOD. Orientation started at night and there was a fully catered reception and social event afterward with all sorts of delicious gourmet food. They even had an open bar with wine and drinks! I'm still shocked by the very idea that I'm in a professional school where that kind of thing is no big deal. Also, there are people from everywhere! I met a bunch of peeps from Boston and New York, which shocked the hell out of me actually.

Saturday:
Had to get started at 10am this morning with the assignments we were given for today completed for classroom ethics discussions and move welcoming speeches designed to scare the crap out of us. There was another reception at noon were I met some really nice girls and guys from all over with more awesome free food, though not as classy as last night. Then we were supposed to have another hour of seminar but after waiting 30 minutes with no one showing up, we figured something happened and we made the collective decision to bounce.

As of now I'm not sure what to do with myself. I really want to go see a movie and since I don't have anything tomorrow homework isn't urgent but I don't know anyone. Amye, my roomie, and I talked about seeing Ponyo but not until tomorrow. I really want to see District 9 though. I guess I'll head off the the gym and the post office for now. I might just go by myself. Who knows.

More crazy updates to come soon!

lazy

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 18:48:26 GMT

What does this Rorschach blot look like to you?

View 559 Answers

A four eyed coyote.

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 00:18:41 GMT

I am terrified of starting law school.

I just thought I'd share...

More memes!

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 14:32:34 GMT

Tagged by jisuk

Letter meme
1. Leave me a comment and I will give you a letter.
2. Then, write 10 things that you love starting with that letter.
3. Post the list in your journal.
4. Give out letters to those who comment in return.

T

Technology
Holy shit, what would I do without it?

Television
I LIVE off of TV. This mostly developed because of my insane insomnia, but it also had a lot to do with being alone at the apartment/dorm/house all the time. I put it on just to have background noise so I don't feel so lonely. I don't always actually watch it, but I can't stand to have something I wouldn't be interested in on either.

Tea
Hot or cold, always tasty!

uh...Twitter
Shouting out, hoping someone will hear.

Tribbles
Omfg, Star Trek FTW. Current obsession. Finally got all of the original series downloaded, something I've been trying to do since I saw the new movie, and I've been utterly addicted. I forgot how much I liked this show. When I was a kid I had a tribble stuffed animal thing that squeaked and vibrated about!

Tables
You uh, put things on them. That's kinda awesome...DAMN IT JI.

Treadmills
All the benefits of running, only with air conditioning!

Tako
My favorite kind of sushi! Octopi are delicious! Nomnomnom.

Tekken Toppa Gurren Lagan
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!

Travel
I love going to all sorts of new places!
------------------------------------------------------

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you. (please only request words if I actually know who you are...)

Cosplay
I only really got into cosplay in the past four years or so, but I guess that makes sense since that's around the time I was old enough to travel to conventions alone. My friends and I basically taught ourselves how to sew and operate sewing machines. I've gotten pretty good at altering patterns and using found items! To date I've cosplayed Yoko (Gurren Lagan), Mugen (Samurai Champloo), Reno (FFVII), Renji (Bleach), Fai (Tsubasa Chronicle), Aisha Clan Clan (Outlaw Star),Honey-senpai (Ouran Host Club), and Shinobu (No More Heros). I totally intend to do Spock next. > > I'd also like to get around to doing Lavi (D Gray Man) and Ed (FMA).

Italy
Ah, my scorned passion. I used to be obsessed with everything Italian, but believe it or not, getting a minor in it practically ruined it for me. I do still have a love affair with Italy, it's just not as pronounced as it used to be. I'd love to go there someday, but like most of my dreams, I think my parents will ruin it for me too. My whole family history comes out of that country, you'd think they'd let me go. *sigh* At least I have Domino...nomnomnom. <3 >:D

Louisiana
Born and raised New Orleans baby! It's funny, I have a love hate relationship with my home state. On the one hand the food is awesome, the culture is ballin', the art/music scene is amazing, and there's a uniqueness to the people of New Orleans (and I do specify NO, because the rest of the state is kinda...blah) that I've never experienced anywhere else. The closest thing was New York, only New Orleans is like...in slow motion by comparison. At the same time there's so much poverty, corruption, and hurricane bull shit that sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it. At least we know how to party down here. Don't matter what it is, we're gonna drink to it and maybe throw a parade, if enough drunks get together at the same time often enough. ...Also, cajuns. Nuff said.

Turks
Damnit, Ji you took my best "T" word! I would have mentioned this above if it hadn't been down here. I've been in love with the whole idea of the Turks for a very long time now. As you all know, Reno is one of my favorite characters perhaps of all time, which is pretty awesome for a side character lackey villain. XD I love that they're bad guys, but they're really not all that bad when it comes down to it, they're just doing their jobs because SOMEONE has to do the dirty work, especially when no one else wants to do it. There's something to be said for being unassamed of doing whatever it is you have to do because you're being paid to do it and at the same time being loyal, true, and proud of it. It's the mafia complex. <3

Watercolors
I used to SUCK at watercolors. They were like, my kryptonite. I'm not exactly sure when it happened to be honest but I started to play around with them (making some hideous art that stuck together and got shoved in other people's lockers.) And then I recall one of my art teachers giving me a very old set of watercolors from Germany that I had fallen in love with. They were crappy as hell, falling apart from years of sitting around in the art room storage, but I dunno, I just took them with me all over and painted and painted and painted. They're so easy to set up and move from place to place, not to mention cheap. Most importantly, I get a true artistic sense of accomplishment when I create something with my hands. I mean REALLY from my hands. The brush on the paper and the way it feels in my hand, mixing each color until it's juuuust right, layering and layering color in a slow tedious process of truly creating, until every little detail is just so. You can't cheat with watercolors, not really, not to me anyway. It's a beautiful thing.

Moving

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:25:03 GMT

So I'm back at my apartment in BR for the week. I'm slowly...SLOWLY packing my things to move them back to my parents house where I will precede to unpack everything and then RE-pack the things I want to take with me to law school. Much to my dismay, I'm being forced to move back into a dorm. I really don't know anyone who I could move in with now that my cousin crapped out on me so the short notice, cheapest answer was...well dorm. Ugh.

All this packing reminds me of the old dorm days. I really loath moving. It always kinda depresses me, not to mention two of my roomies are already mostly gone. Thus, btw, the internet has been disconnected already so I'm on borrowed time and borrowed internet. I may be kinda difficult to reach for a few days. If anyone wants to call, I'd be lad to chit-chat while I pack.

Also, I don't have my follow up doctor appointment until Monday, but apparently my thyroid is SEVERELY underactive. They called to put me on the meds before I even had a chance to see the doctor. I feel sort of vindicated since I've been saying I thought there was something wrong for so long now, but also kinda confused as to what I'm supposed to do with this information. They have me on meds for a few other things and I wonder if this problem is what has been causing the other? I mean, these meds are EXPENSIVE, and the doctor very specifically said I had to take name brands because the dosages have to be highly exact. I think I'll be paying almost $100-150 in monthly meds after this, so uh...yeah. I'm less than thrilled and already trying to be conservative since as most of you know I quit my hell on earth job at Chili's.

Speaking of which I've been feeling a but useless since I quit. I mean, I REALLY needed to break before law school but I haven't been unemployed since 7th grade. Everytime I say I quit people ask what I'm going to do about a job and I feel so irresponsible saying, "Nothing, I'm going to law school." Shit man, isn't that enough?

Bah, I feel so lonely today. Not sure why. I read a bunch of old rp chat logs today and it made me feel so nostalgic for how things used to be. Not a good thing to be feeling while your packing up your whole life to move on...again. Ah well, on to new adventures and greater (hopefully) things.

Oh. Btw, Potter movie good but felt too long? Thoughts?

What, again?

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:46:51 GMT

Wow, twice in one day? WHAT IS THIS? Usually rems is all radio silence.

Anyway, just did some research and I have ALL of the symptoms for an underactive thyroid, which btw, my mother was recently diagnosed with. I've been living with:

Sluggishness and fatigue
Depression
Greater sensitivity to cold
Unexplained weight gain
Constipation
Menstrual irregularities
Insomnia
Hair loss (my hair is A LOT thinner than it used to be.)
Cold/numb hands/feet (I get numbness in my feet that won't go away.)

For what, people who see me regularly, like four maybe five years? I dunno, I had some of the overactive symptoms too, maybe the damn thing can't make up it's mind? Or maybe I'm completely insane and there's nothing at all wrong with me and I'm just being a hypochondriac (HAHA something ELSE I could have? lolz.) I had some strange swelling a while back when we thought I might have an iron deficiency or anemia, and of course being basically anemic all this week has brought that to mind as well. God, I hope there is something wrong with me because at least then someone can fix me. Otherwise, man I got nothing.

Oh. And on a side note, does anyone other than me feel weird when people tell you that you use too many big words? Some say it like a compliment, and then others don't? I'm never sure how I should feel about that. I've gotten that comment from four different people at Chili's this week alone...okay, done now.

Diet

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:08:09 GMT

Uh, yeah. Wanna make yourself anemic in four days? Try the South Beach diet phase 1.

So I want to lose about 10 pounds. I gained about that much after graduation what with celebrating, and partying, and vacation so my clothes all fit funny. Anyway, my mom wanted to lose weight so we started doing this diet over the weekend together. Basically you can't eat any kind of carbs for about two weeks. All protein and veggies, that's it.

Haha. My blood sugar TANKED. I was so sick with indigestion, and lethargia, and other side effects that I literally could not function at work. I couldn't even punch the keys on the micro at Chili's properly. Dad made me eat some of his french fries and the bun from his sandwich at lunch today and BAM, suddenly my whole body perked up. I mean seriously, you could actually see it on my face.

Never. Again.

I'll diet some other way. Although, I'm beginning to think I may have something wrong with my thyroid again. I've had on again off again issues that suggest a problem for a few years but the symptoms go away and I stop worrying about it. Is that possible? I dunno. I scheduled a doctor appointment.

In other news, both cons were amazing but obviously I'm a little belated talking about them. Can't get the damn photos into a zip file that will mail properly for some odd reason but haven't really had time to sit down and look at it. All I do is wake up, go to gym, go to work and then maybe go out for a drink after work. Somehow this includes getting fatter, but anyway. Seriously, I think I live at Chili's and I'm making zero money. It's so sloooow, but yet I work and work and work. God I hate life. I need a vacation from like...breathing. Oh yes, and all kinds of law school drama on the side. If I have to fax one more document I'm going to cry.

Now, to watch House and then go to the gym then go to work and then stab mysel-I MEAN SLEEP...really. > >

*sob* Dinner shift for 6 straight days, here we go.

Tue, 12 May 2009 16:52:34 GMT

Your results:
You are Jean-Luc Picard

Jean-Luc Picard		85%
Will Riker		70%
Mr. Scott		65%
Uhura		65%
Deanna Troi		65%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		60%
Geordi LaForge		60%
Spock		52%
Chekov		45%
Beverly Crusher		45%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		40%
Data		38%
Worf		35%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		35%
Mr. Sulu		20%

A lover of Shakespeare and other
fine literature. You have a decisive mind
and a firm hand in dealing with others.

Click here to take the "Which Star Trek character am I?" quiz...

Man, I really thought I'd end up as Scotty. It must of been all those "I HATE CHILDREN" answers that got me. XD

SHOOT TO KILL.

I still really want to see this movie. It's not that I don't have friends who want to see it; it's just hard to either talk them into spending the money, they've already seen it, or they're already busy. ALAS! *shakie fist*

....well crap

Fri, 08 May 2009 17:22:31 GMT

Loyolla offered me a $15,000 scholarship to go to their school.

I don't know how to feel about this. My family keeps going on and on about how proud they are and I'm like...yeah that IS kinda tempting and money IS a huge issue but I just don't know if I want to take it or not.

Honestly, I want to use it against the other schools to be like, "Soooo, what will you give me?"

In other news, DONE WITH UNDERGRAD. I've been celebrating and it's awesome. ; ;

More law school bitchin'

Mon, 04 May 2009 18:46:10 GMT

Okay, so now I've got a few more cards on the table.

I'm officially holding a seat at New York Law and I've gotten accepted into CUNY. I have to admit, it's terribly hard to tell which school is superior because every ranking system seems to give a different story. So far, both of these schools are higher ranked than Loyolla at NO, but both are ranked lower than Tulane at NO.

Now, assuming I don't get into Tulane, I'll have a VERY compelling argument for the two NY schools. It's a different story if I get into Tulane though.

Does anybody have any idea how I can reliably compare these NY schools or does anyone know anything about them? New York Law appears to be 1st tier, somewhere in the bottom 100. CUNY seems to be at the very top of the 2nd tier, but it's also a much newer school, like only 20 years, so that may have something to do with it. CUNY is also public, so it's like...hella cheap. Like 15,000 or something in comparison to the 30-50,000 of the other schools so, uh yeah, can you say appealing? I don't think they have dorms though...but New York Law has some kind of law school apartment complex really close to campus? I dunno.

I wish there was some kind of reliable source you could use to tell you what the best decision would be, but nooooo it's like "Hey, the rest of your life which you don't know anything about? Make a decision. Now. That your final answer? K thx. Bye....oh, btw, should have picked door number 2. lolz."

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Also, one final down, four to go and then I'm DONE DONE DONE. And thus I'll enter month from hell.

May:
Week 1: Finals, Louisianime, Mothers Day, End of School Party
Week 2: Trip to Mississippi, Graduation, Brother's Graduation, Celebration parties and birthdays
Week 3: Both parent's birthdays, Anime Boston
Week 4: A-kon

Throw in final school decisions and moving out and work in there, and you'l have an idea of my stress level.

....just breathe. 8 8